So Yesterday
by The Zazu
Summary: A rough hand delicately traced a silver frame, caressing the material with a subdued fondness. Lupin remembers... and tries to forget.


**Title:** So Yesterday by The Zazu (formerly Taiyou/Sahaylee)

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** Remus Lupin and all characters related to the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note:** Heh, this is merely my pathetic attempt at a Harry Potter fic. Always wanted to write one of these things... To keep it simple, this short story deals with Lupin's jumbled feelings after Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, not long after members of the Order 'chat' with the Dursleys. Yep. That's about it. Nothin' fancy...  
  
--  
  
So Yesterday  
  
A rough hand delicately traced a silver frame, caressing the material with a subdued fondness. A rueful smile brightened the haggard face of Remus Lupin – the infamous ex-professor of Hogwarts. Back, two years ago, his clothing exuded a sense of shabbiness and that sense was even more defined in the present time. Shabby robes rested awkwardly on his weakened frame, rustling with every slight movement. Running a hand through his thinning hair, Lupin continued to render his attention to the picture within the frame. It was black-and-white, of course, and the corners were dog-eared, but the residents of the photo didn't mind at all.  
  
Wormtail... Padfoot... Prongs... and himself, Moony. Four energetic figures jostled each other playfully in the picture, as if having no cares about the world around them. Ah, those were the days... the days where Remus could let himself go and face his fears with three others to stand behind him. Alas, those days were over. "Long over," Lupin muttered, falling into a moth-eaten chair. The man had taken it upon himself to reside in the warm, friendly quarters at the Leaky Cauldron until he could collect his thoughts. Not just about the pleasant days of the past, but the grim days of the present. Abruptly Remus turned over the picture, not able to look at it any longer.  
  
Harry, dear Harry Potter, had completed his fifth year at Hogwarts, and proving himself each year. Lupin chuckled, recalling an image of a mussy- haired, gangly boy from memory. This young man had become like a son to him, or at least a reminder of his father, James. "With every man, however, comes faults. Poor Harry..." Lupin commented, not directing his statement at anyone, or anything in particular. He had noticed that Harry, though noble, could easily be taken advantage of. _He is so simply **naive**, always dragged into a situation by following his heart, not his head. Not like there is nothing wrong with the heart...  
_  
The bedraggled man tapped his fingers idly on the endtable next to him. A second rueful smile crossed his worn features. It was Harry's heroism and naivety that had dragged him and comrades to the Ministry of Magic and in the end, carrying them through a very perilous battle against Voldemort and his minions. _All because they thought Sirius was in trouble..._ Lupin shook his head and gently closed his eyes. At his sides, his hands had clenched into fists. If only he had been able to stop Sirius from bounding away to the Department of Mysteries...  
  
His good friend, no wait – correction, his best friend Sirius Black was always full to the brim with energy. And when caging this energy at Grimmauld Place, something unfortunate was bound to happen. Voldemort had easily found Harry's weakness and used it to his advantage.... Sirius had immediately followed the other members of the Order and put his life in danger.  
  
And now?  
  
Now he was gone.  
  
Gone forever. A soft tear trickled slowly down the tired man's face, finally dripping gently onto his robes. This was the first time Lupin let himself let down his guard. Harry had been so hurt, so... traumatized, that Lupin had to show the boy he was strong. This was not only for Harry's sake, but also his own. His last living, sensitive friend had left him. Lupin was alone now, so alone. No James... No Sirius... No Peter. Their former foursome had dwindled down to only one.  
  
Lupin cracked open his eyes, staring blankly at the room around him. Dust- covered furniture, moth-eaten chairs.... This was the best he could afford at the moment. Werewolves were still not exactly welcomed into the Wizarding World, per se, even when the vile and clearly despicable Umbridge had been dethroned from her position. Perhaps Remus would be able to pursue an actual job, rather than drift place to place. What example was he to Harry, dressed in shabby robes?  
  
Remus sighed quietly, the small sound echoing in the room. So far, Dumbledore and the whole Order had been so kind to him. They had accepted him for his imperfections in the beginning. Now they gave him the sympathy – no, empathy – that a man in mourning needed. But how long would that last? Lupin could only guess the day when he no longer received such kind behavior.  
  
Some wounds never healed.  
  
The face of James still was etched clearly in his mind. His own pain at losing a friend was etched in his mind as well, tormenting him so. God, James was one of the first to support him, rounding up the other guys to learn how to become Animagi. That arrogant man genuinely cared. "I still miss him," Remus muttered to himself sadly, folding his hands together. "I hurt so much then, and now Sirius..." He trailed off, staring at his knobby knuckles.  
  
He failed himself each time. Each time he promised that he would be there to save his friends, be there to rescue them from danger. And what had he done? Merely lurk in the shadows, hoping no one would notice he was a werewolf. It was pathetic._ I let my closest friends slip away between my fingers._ Lupin smiled his same rueful smile once more, shaking his head. In that sense, Harry was a star. He always appeared to be there to help his friends, whenever they were in need. He was there in the way, he, Lupin was not.  
  
Lupin rose to his feet, padding toward a window. His sharp glance brushed across the throngs of witches and wizard perusing the stores below.  
  
So innocent.  
  
So carefree.  
  
Lupin fell to his knees with a heartfelt sigh.  
  
_So yesterday..._  
  
--  
  
**Author's Note:** First off, you don't have to tell me how pathetic the ending is. xx It's 'ugh'. Meh... Reviews are **really really** appreciated! Maybe the magical fairies will sprinkle magical fairy powder on you if you do! XD Do **you **believe in fairies?


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